Wednesday, April 2, 2008

You know you've been in Germany too long when you...

There are some interesting cultural observations here in this post I found on a newsgroup frequented by mainly American expats living in Germany. It would interesting to see how this list would differ if the subject were

You know you're in AUSTRIA when ...

You know you're in Germany when ...

- you hear "Na, Du" every two seconds
- porns are on normal television
- there is 60 kg of Butter on one Brötchen
- people eat potatoes every day and more than once a day
- all the doors in your house are always closed
- your bedroom has a half slanted ceiling
- everyone watches fußball (*soccer...), including 13 year old girls
and their grandmothers
- everyone takes out their textbook, planners and federtasche
(pencil case) before the teacher comes into the room
- everyone has clothes from "H&M"
- people press their thumbs for good luck
- people answer the phone with their name
- there is a countdown to the news broadcast

You know you haven't been in Germany long enough if you...

- haven't eaten a gyros
- don't know the times that the trains come and go from the local station
- don't know the exact location of every geldautomat within a 4 km radius
- don't understand the meaning of "Na?"
- get a cramp in your hand while writing a klausur (finals)
- are appalled by the number of sunglasses and shoes stores
- can't convert the 12 hour clock to the 24 hour clock super fast,
and you aren't sure whether "halb fünf" is 4.30, 5.30 or 2.50
- don't know which end of the flag goes up
- still exclaim about the markers that erase fountain pen ink

You know you've been in Germany too long when you...

- feel the need to underline everything with a ruler
- savour sunny days since you know how rare they are
- get used to see nudity on television
- think it's a big deal to touch the white line on the side of the
road when driving
- have a gyros breath more than once a week
- think of the train as your primary mode of transportation
- know more than 5 Bundesliga (soccer) teams
- no longer find the windows a wonder that open in two ways
- try to read a letter from someone at home and find it difficult to
remember the English words
- can describe what you mean better with German words even when
speaking English
- don't change the radio station when techno comes on, because you
know it's on all the other stations too
- can distinguish the multiple Krimi shows, from one another
- say "Ne" after a sentence
- can name more than 5 varieties of "Milka" chocolate
- don't leave the oven door open after baking
- eat meat for breakfast, lunch and dinner
- take naps for lack of anything better to do
- can't remember a English Word, so you look it up in German in the
English/German dictionary
- use "Geil" and "Genau" even in English conversations
- answer the phone instead of running away from it
- don't mind the mispronunciation of your name
- read the exact minutes in your watch instead of rounding to the
nearest 5 minutes
- cobblestone streets are not longer torturous to walk on
- forget your watch and miss it
- get angry that things are censored, if they are
- actually listen to the German translation instead of straining to
hear the original English of a televised interview
- can pronounce Umlauts properly
- know the difference between a "Schloß" and a "Burg"
- have many colored "Point 88 Stabiloo" pens in your Federtasche
(pencil case)
- are used to typing with the "y" and the "z" in opposite places on
your Computer

You know you're in Germany

...when there is cigarette smoke everywhere,
...when you have to pay to use a public rest room,
...when you have to pay a deposit for a shopping cart,
...when you have to bring your own bags, or baskets to take home the
...when you listen to church bells to tell time,
...when you can't turn right on red,
...when it's sunset and the roll shutters come down on the windows,
...when you see signs on park laws that say "betreten verboten",
...when you go into a gas station, and magazines with naked women are
right next to the candy display,
...when even the TV-guide, or the daily news have topless women on
the cover,
...when you drive on the highway, and cars zip by so fast, you can't
tell what make or color they were,
...when strangers join you at your table in a restaurant,
...when restaurants accommodate dogs with a bowl of water, but they
don't have high-chairs for children,
...when you can't get ice in your drink,
...when you have to pay extra for ketchup at McDonalds,
...when you get charged for drink refills,
...when you're in a department store dressing room, and the sales
woman opens the curtain to check on you,
...when you are finished with your meal in a restaurant, and can
linger as long as you want, until you ask for the check,
...when you can see grown men urinating in public.

Originally posted in the forum by Wolfgang

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