The Lion Eating Poet; a Quick Background: 

 Chinese is a tonal language. Which means that each sound can be pronounced in a number of different ways depending upon the inflection the speaker places on the syllable. A upward, downward, peaked or even inflection can change the word entirely. Unlike English where homonyms (words pronounced the same but spelled differently) like “flower” and “flour” are about as creative as it gets, Chinese is also very contextual, the word’s can change meaning depending on what precedes and follows them, so much more variation can be derived from the same base sounds.

 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0a/StandingMingLion.jpg/800px-StandingMingLion.jpg

Using some creative linguistic flexibility Yuen Ren Chao wrote this fantastic poem that describes the bizarre tale of a lion-eating poet, reportedly to spoof the idea of converting Chinese characters into a phonetic Latin alphabet equivalent. The 93 word essay is composed of the same repeated sound only varying in tone (so it is unreadable in other dialects like Cantonese). Remarkable from a linguistic standing, the poem shows just how difficult it can be to translate from one language to another.

I must say I am impressed as the only English equivalent I have come across is the sentence “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo” which means “Bison from Buffalo, New York, who are intimidated by other bison in their community, also happen to intimidate other bison in their community”. Not quite the same flare as the Lion eating poet, but i’ll chalk that up to a limitation of our language.

via rovemag.com

Frank says: This is really amazing for a language buff like me. I would really like to find a Chinese speaking person who would read this for me. It's kind of hard to believe really but then again language is a pretty incredible thing, isn't it?

Wait! I live in the 21st century... I will see if a machine can convince me that the story really is all SHE's cracked up to be ! 

I found the characters in copyable form here:

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion-Eating_Poet_in_the_Stone_Den

and then pasted them into http://translate.google.com/ and clicked the little speaker to have the text pronounced for me. Try it!!

I will paste the characters here too if I can...

石室詩士施氏，嗜獅，誓食十獅。

氏時時適市視獅。

十時，適十獅適市。

是時，適施氏適市。

氏視是十獅，恃矢勢，使是十獅逝世。

氏拾是十獅屍，適石室。

石室濕，氏使侍拭石室。

石室拭，氏始試食是十獅。

食時，始識是十獅屍，實十石獅屍。

試釋是事。

Here's another strange language puzzle, in English. If done correctly, the same word appears 11 times in a row. Not as cool as Chinese, but English is cool in other ways, isn't it?

Can you punctuate this sentence so it makes sense?
"James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher".

What does "kindergarten" mean? German words used in the English

GermanEnglishWords.com
This is a dictionary of some German words used in English (Germanisms), each with a literal or German meaning, English definition and actual sample sentence(s) from literature and the Internet.

A simple list can be found at http://german.about.com/library/blvoc_gerloan.htm

Remember, it's a little tricky because just because a word has been borrowed into in another language does not mean it has to have the same meaning. The word KINDERGARTEN is a good example. Let me quote from the dictionary above:

A kindergarten in German-speaking countries would actually be the equivalent of a PRESCHOOL in the U.S.
A U.S. kindergarten would be VORSCHULE in German.

And when you look up the word KINDERGARTEN in a good monolingual learners' dictionary like LDOCEONLINE you will learn the following:

kin‧der‧gar‧ten [See pronunciation table in "How to use dictionary" pages] [uncountable and countable]

1 (American English) a school or class for children aged five
2 (British English) a school for children aged two to five [= nursery school]

So as you see things are often not what they seem!

Six Online Corpora

Ever wonder how a word has been used by native speakers?

All the time?

Well check out this amazing resource. I'm just getting to know it a little myself, but so far I'm very impressed.
American English, British English, Spanish and Portuguese.
http://view.byu.edu/

One Hour Translation

http://www.onehourtranslation.com/

...a new site that tries to match people who need stuff translated with people who can translate this stuff. The translators get paid (a little) and the people who need the translations get their texts translated quickly, cheaply, and well... by a human being and not a machine.

so everybody wins... but would you pay? would you translate stuff?

What do you think? Is this company going to be successful? Will people pay for this service? Will human translators work for just a few cents a word?


Watch a flickr presentation made by one of the people behind this idea.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tr4nslator/sets/72157594582358296/show/

This video is pretty funny.

Toytown Germany

Toytown is an interesting website for people who like to walk the line between German and English. It is primarily in English, and the quality of the English is very high, so it is useful for native speakers of German who are learning English. Austria is a bit too small for such a site I guess.

But in Germany there is apparently a rather large community of close to 10,000 people from English-speaking countries who are living/working there and have formed a community. The forum appears to be lively and I have found several interesting things to read there, many cross-cultural comparisons, or discussions of "untranslatables", for example.

They have links to German publications that also publish an English version such as der Spiegel, die Welt, and one that is new to me called The Local. You could find the original German text and start a parallel text collection...

Here's the link again
http://www.toytowngermany.com/

American Slang Quiz

20 Questions
Listen to the phrase, repeat using your best "American" accent, and then guess which of the 3 German translations is the right one.

Doesn't seem too hard to me... };)

https://ssl.sueddeutsche.de/reise/spiele/quiz/245/137964/1/?go=1

Read the IHT!

The International Herald Tribune http://www.iht.com/

You may have seen this newspaper at the airport or at the better newsstands around town. It has many good quality articles and most importantly in the online version, two features students have found quite useful.

Here's how you can get more out of your reading experience.

Click on an article you would like to read and then look in the little box to the right of the headline. Among other things, you will see:
1) “Listen to article”, so you can read along as you listen.
2) “Translate”, so if you need some help with the difficult words, you have them translated into German. You can also get English definitions.

Try it out with one of today’s stories...

or this one:

Choose the right translator
http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/11/24/news/atrans.php

What do you think?

Is this the tool you have been waiting for?

Eureka!!


So what can you do with this tool?

Basically, you can link any text you are reading to a variety of dictionaries. This saves a lot of time looking up words.

How do I use it?

It's very easy to use.
1. First go to http://www.esldesk.com/esl-reading/esl-reader.aspx and paste in the text you want to read and click the "Read Text" button.

2. Use the References drop-down menu to choose "Cambridge" to get an easy-to-understand definition in English and some example sentences or perhaps "Wikipedia" if it would be better to look it up in an encyclopedia, in English of course.

3. If you would like the word translated into German, use the "Languages" drop-down menu to choose "German I", which links to beolingus or "German II" which links to dict.cc. You can easy look it up in both to see which one gives you the best results.

4. Use Search drop-down menu to see how word is used on other internet pages. I recommend Ask.com or Google of course.

Here's the link one more time.

http://www.esldesk.com/esl-reading/esl-reader.aspx

Bookmark it immediately and also add it to your reading page in your Learning Portfolio, so you can use it during your very next workout.

If you are smart and have set up a free account for the Vocabulary Trainer available at either of the two German dictionary sites, then you can review the words you have looked up at a later date and greatly increase your chances of remembering them.

Enjoy reading!!

ESL Reader

This is a great time-saver that makes reading even difficult texts in English very easy.

Just copy any English text into the box and click on Read Text.
You can then easily get definitions and/or translations for any words in that text since each word is automatically turned into a link.

I suggest you look up new words in the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary first to get an understandable definition and a few example sentences. Use the drop-down menu under References.

If you want a translation, just choose the English-German dictionary under Languages. German I links to BeoLingus and German II links to dict.cc

Abbreviations (like ESL) can be looked up under Specialty.

If it's a place or a person you can look it up in Google or Ask.com.

What makes this tool so convenient is that you just paste the text in once and then if you want to learn more about the word, just change the reference source and click on the same word to look it up again. Very convenient!

(The only trick is having several windows open at the same time, but that shouldn't be a problem...!)

http://www.esldesk.com/esl-reading/esl-reader.aspx

If you want to start reading right away, try this link to one of my favorite classic books, already pasted into the ESL Reader...
http://www.esldesk.com/english-reading/reading-help.aspx?f=alice-adventure-in-wonderland

The "shocking truth" about English

Some of you will know Paul Smith and his great website aimed at German speakers struggling with the finer points of the English language.

http://owad.de/

OWAD stands for One Word A Day, by the way...

Paul has a nice little Guide to "Die häufigsten (und peinlichsten) Deutsch > Englischen Übersetzungsfehler und wie man sie vermeiden kann"

You can download the pdf or (first) view what he has to say online. There are some of my favorite "classics" in there that still make me laugh...

Enjoy!

Why was Harry Potter translated from English to English?

Why do my friend Ian and I sometimes not really understand each other although we supposedly speak the same language?

As you know, there are some differences between the way English is spoken in the US and the UK. You should choose one variety and try not to mix them up too much, but you will have to be aware of both varieties. And if you ever go to Australia, well...Good Luck!

Here are a few sites that will shed some light on the differences:

The American's guide to speaking British
Funny way to learn what some of the differences are between UK and US English!
http://www.effingpot.com/

English-to-American Dictionary
fun to read because of the Scot who wrote the explanations.
http://english2american.com/dictionary/wholelot.html

American English- British English
http://www.peak.org/~jeremy/dictionary/dictionary/dictionary.php

Here you can test yourself.


Back to Harry...

A guy named Edward Olson compiled a list of the changes made in the "Americanized" version of the first 4 books.
Considering how long the books are, there aren't really that many changes when you think about it!

And here is an interesting wikipedia article called "Harry Potter in translation"

And this guy makes a very good point here:

"Harry Potter, Minus a Certain Flavour"
by Peter H. Gleick ("New York Times," July 10, 2000)

BERKELEY, Calif. -- My family, like so many others, was excited about Saturday's release of yet another Harry Potter book. But although there are many legitimate reasons for praising the series -- the exciting plots, the new young readers being drawn to books, the quality of the writing -- I am disappointed about one thing: the decision by Scholastic, publisher of the American edition, to translate the books from "English" into "American." Scholastic even went so far as to change the title of the first Harry Potter book from "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" to "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." Why? Were the editors worried that some people wouldn't buy the book because they couldn't understand it in its original language? Were they concerned that some children would be confused by new words for otherwise familiar objects or actions?
I like to think that our society would not collapse if our children started calling their mothers Mum instead of Mom. And I would hate to think that today's children would be frightened away from an otherwise thrilling book by reading that the hero is wearing a jumper instead of a sweater.
Are we afraid that when presented with new vocabulary, children will shrink away? Or that alternative spellings of previously known words will make children (and adults) suddenly start spelling things wrong, sending school test scores falling?
A careful reading of both the English and the American editions of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" reveals three kinds of substitutions. The first are spelling differences: gray for grey, color for colour, flavor for flavour, pajamas for pyjamas, recognize for recognise and the like.
The second are differences in common words or phrases: pitch turns to field, sellotaped to taped, fortnight to two weeks, post to mail, boot of car to trunk of car, lorry to truck.
The third are metamorphoses of truly English experiences or objects into something different, but distinctly American: crumpets to English muffins, for example (a particular odious change, in my opinion).

My two sons didn't have any difficulty understanding the British version of the book sent to them by their aunt in London.
I admit to occasionally offering the meaning of a new word the first time it appeared, but don't we do that with every book we read to our children, or help them read to themselves?
Do we really want children to think that crumpets are the same as English muffins? Frankly, reading about Harry and Hermione eating crumpets during tea is far more interesting to an American than reading about them eating English muffins during a meal.
Are any books immune from this kind of devolution from English to "American" English? Would we sit back and let publishers rewrite Charles Dickens or Shakespeare? I can see it now: "A Christmas Song," "A Story of Two Cities," "The Salesman of Venice."
By protecting our children from an occasional misunderstanding or trip to the dictionary, we are pretending that other cultures are, or should be, the same as ours.
By insisting that everything be Americanized, we dumb down our own society rather than enrich it.
As for Harry Potter's latest adventures, my children and I will wait for the British version coming by mail.

This blog in German.

Seems it'll be a while before human translators are replaced by machines!


There are some really funny translations here.

Translate!

TRANSLATE!

George seems to be one of the few students who actually reads my blog. And the guy ought to have his head examined...He even admitted that he is continuing to blog after SUK4!

So George was wondering how I got that nice little set of colorful buttons on the sidebar of this blog which link to this Google translation page
http://www.google.com/translate_t

This very useful blog is a goldmine for really tweaking your Blogger blog!

And here's the URL just in case!

http://betabloggerfordummies.blogspot.com/2007/02/add-language-translation-flags-with.html

There's more than one way to tell a story!

Everyone knows the story of Little Red Riding Hood, right?

Well, in this version it sounds familiar, but somehow a little different...

You can also read a version of this famous fairy tale translated into Amtsdeutsch

Wikis in Plain English with German subtitles

Now you have no excuse at all for not understanding just what a wiki is and can do because someone has provided German subtitles for this very informative video.

If you already know what a wiki is and can do, why don't you evaluate the quality of the translation!?

Something Got Lost in Translation

Kind of senseless rainy day time waster, but maybe it makes a point about there still being a need for flesh and bones translators...

I put in the above sentence and "babelized" it using this babelizing tool and this is what I got:

The stupid type of rainy gaspillor the moment, but the slight ones of
to being famous possibly vorbehaltlichen always in here a one
necessity to compilers/translators of the meat and the bone...

Why is it so easy to find ways to waste time (too fined weighs two waist thyme???)

Abtei bis Eifer (abbey to zeal): The joys of machine translation

Can machines help us save time?
Of course they can. If they're used properly.

Here's a little story you might find interesting...

Once upon a time SUK4 students were told they had to read a book called "Jaywalking with the Irish" by David Monagan. They soon found out that it has some pretty difficult words. One student (Jacqueline Kollegger) took upon herself to look up all the words she didn't know and make a glossary. That was a very good start. She uploaded it and shared the fruits of her labor. There was the new word, an example sentence, and a definition in English with a few synonyms.

Problem was, it was over 90 pages long and contained many words which were not really that common. It was also all in English, which , it can be argued, is not really the kind of glossary students of translation really need.

So, the teacher, a native speaker of English, thought the glossary could be made more useful if
(1) it only contained the most common words and
(2) a German translation was added.

He turned to a few tools found on the internet and got the help of a student with some programming skills (Good work Gert!) . The first step was to compare the words in the Kollegger glossary with the words in 3 small ESL dictionaries (Alan Beale's Core Vocabulary). Gert wrote a short program comparing the two lists and the teacher then went through this reduced list and deleted the words that he thought were not really worth learning, at least not yet, and reduced the Kollgger glossary to a third of the size.

Now, the glossary was still monolingual, so the teacher thought he'd use Google Translator to get German equivalents of the words he thought were worth learning. This is the list you see below.

The moral of the story is that if you put your mind to it you CAN use such tools to help you learn languages efficiently.

One problem remains. As all translators know, there is no one to one correlation. Language is far more complex than that, but at least in a few seconds it was possible to get possible rough "equivalents" for hundreds of words.

I encourage you to use these German "equivalents?" with care. Actually getting the words in the reduced glossary into your active vocabulary is the challenge that you face as a student of the language.


Abtei entsetzlich Erwerb haften ad hoc angrenzend Anzeige nauseam Missgeschick Verbindung Affinität reichlich Nachmahd zerstreut all-out anspielen Höhe Mehrdeutigkeit schlenderen Hinterhalt Annehmlichkeit zur Menge zum sth. reichlich verstärken Qual eingliedern vorwegnehmen Antidot Entsetzen Gerät Lehrling Brandstiftung Arterie Aufstieg erklären festsetzen schlau Grausamkeit eifrig Awe unbeholfen B die zu verwirren Rückseite von jenseits verbannen Todesfee übereinkunft Lastkahn Gerste Barke unfruchtbar Rechtsanwalt heftiger Schlag grob Leuchtfeuer Schnabel Bohnenstange Chaos Bienenstock brüllen wohltätig beraubt bicker bigoted Bigotry Anschlagtafel binge auf die schwarze Liste setzen schwarze Liste bleary mit verbundenen Augen zur Blüte bluegrass Schnitzer stumpf sich rühmen Sumpf ehrlich Mütze Prämie zum Bogen befestigen prahlen Büstenhalter Breite Bräutigam Bronco weg bummeln Signalhorn Koje schwimmend kräftig graben zum busk hastige Geschäftigkeit C gackern cagey caldron Kalb Segeltuch Faszinieren zur Liebkosung Karneval beiläufig himmlisch chaperone chariot verkohlt Schauer zum Span weg am sth Meißel chock-full Zerhacker Chore zum Glucksen Kumpel zum Butterfaß verhindern Muschel clannish clef anhaften verstopfen (oben) Schlag überreden Kopfstein Koedukations umwickeln Kollusion gedenken Fach selbstzufrieden verbergen eingebildet vertrauen verstopft sich versammeln konisch heraus versagen ringen zufriedengestellt Schmuggelware Fremdfirma Neuerfindung Kloster zusammenlaufen gurren cosy Sprung reizbarer Anruf/Buchstabe crave craving Bescheinigungen zurückschrecken zum Gewirr Querstraße Stichwort Angeklagter schlau Währung beschränken D zum zu plantschen Narzisse Feuchtigkeit Löwenzahn trödeln zur Verordnung defiant herausfordern überschwemmung dicht Einbuchtung Gebisse bildlich darstellen bedauernswert beraubt hilflos Vorrichtung planen fromm Tau Diaspora verfallen sich weiten schwach Grübchen schmuddelig eintauchen wegwerfen erkennen desillusioniert abschweifen disgruntled dishevelled sich auflösen dismal Schrecken Herabsetzen schicken Unterbrechungs Dissident bemerkenswert distraught zum Abzugsgraben Ablenkung umleiten erahnen zum Dock zum raschen Ausweichen dolmen kritzeln dosh doppeltes entendre graubraun drapieren fürchten trostlos Nieselregen geifern betiteln Klamotte E ernsthaft Gestell einfache Straße heimlich zuhören zum Eisb an mühsam erarbeiten elated schwer bestimmbar umfassen ausstrahlen verzaubern antreffen aushalten versenken rätselhaft Langeweile zur Folge haben verleiten Bezeichnung Wesen entrepeneur enviable sich vorstellen Offenbarung abriß geben gleichstellen ausrotten aufrichten Botengang erratisch Vorabend erwähnen Ärgern Hauptleiter ausatmen erheitern Exodus Belichtung exuberant F fabled erleichtern zum Ventilator heraus Verhängnis zum Fathom Ermüdung zum Fest on/upon sth Meisterstück abwehren Grausamkeit fiancé unbeständig heftig Flosse erstklassig Aufflackern flaunt sth am Sb schleudern, um deine Kappe leicht zu schlagen flirtatious Menge Fluß vernarrt Kraft wohlriechend Freivermerk wild Freckle zum Gitterwerk Frigging Schaum braten-oben zum ungeschickten Versuch verstümmelt gewaltig gaudy gaffen Zahnrad zum Zahnrad Edelstein gräßlich schwindlig glitzern zerfressen Ziege Spitzbart goo Weinstock kratzend Soße weiden lassen Rasterfeld sich Sorgen machen grimmig Grimmiges Reaper zum Grunzen Zigeuner Halo Hanky-panky bedrängen Belästigung Härte Kabelstrang Harrowing Streit Dunst Herd heidnisch kräftig Heirloom zur Wanderung urkomisch schlagen-und-laufen lassen Hacke hochziehen zum Haken hors d'oevres Jagdhund zur Unordnung Summen humdrum Erniedrigung schleudern Hütte zum hibernate Hyperbel Zündung tadellos einwandfrei behindern undurchdringlich verkörpern improvisiert incessant anreizen unangemessen aufblasbar einnehmen zugehörig angeboren wißbegierig unersättlich abfangen Zwischenspiel Vermittler Durchschnitt einschüchtern schwierig Eindringen Rechnung juckend J stoßen Stau zum Jeer Spannvorrichtung lustig Jugular jugendlich gegeneinander halten K Faß Kessel Stämme Geschicklichkeit kneten L junger Mann landlubber zur Peitsche Lass seitlich locker Lesepult zum Seitenblick mild Kobold Kalkstein schwach zurückbleiben Wäsche verunreinigen Vieh Bauschlosser Maschinenbordbuch Schlitz Lure üppig üppig M entstellen böswillig vorgeschrieben zur Mangel Düngemittel Sumpf Maurer Ehestifter fällig reifen Wiese Mittel mild ausgereift Drohung bedrohlich Zwerg Hebamme Unfug Mock Umb. Cons zum Becher weltlich düster gegenseitig nag namesake Windel geschickt Nachthaube gelassen Anfänger schubsen O Ruder obstinate erreichen ungerade Geruch off-colour ablandig Oirish auf Stichwort durchsickern undurchlässig zu Optativ Erz zur umreiß out-of-the-way freimütig Mantel Auster P heidnisch verwöhnen Fallschirm Paralyse geröstet Wohnzimmer Weide Klaps Flecken Plasterung Pfau Landarbeiter eigenartig durchdringen an sich Ausdauer betrifft sth Blumenblatt sich verlieren Petition petrified Kirchenbank auswählen-ich-oben picky als Drehpunkt friedvoll Plaid Plakette vollständig zum Pflug zupfen zur Tasche poignant stoßen Pfostenwölbung Teich erwägen Portal Brei aufwerfen zerstoßen die Energien, die Pram sind Schelm Garnele Zwangslage Stichel procrastinate fortfahren sich stark vermehren vornübergeneigt herumstreichen sich einmischen Pfütze Welpe Q Q-spitzen Morast Qualm Steinbruch queasy eigenartig quid Verschrobenheit R überfall wild randalieren zügellos Truppe zu rant rapt rattern Versicherung berechnen Viereck nehmen zur Herrschaft sich freuen wieder anzünden abtreten zum Geschmack widerstrebend Wiedergabe ergänzen repulsive elastisch behalten Vergeltung Wiederherstellung Kante Gesindel Befestigen das Boot schaukeln Nagetier Karussell Schutt schroff zum rummage Rung unbarmherzig S absacken Lachse Wiedergewinnung sättigen zum saunter wild einstufen dürftig zum scoff scold zur Schaufel reinigen zum finsteren Blick finsterer Blick scraggly hager zum screech scrooge nachforschen Unterwasseratemgerättauchen abgelegen serendipity serene Predigt Entlassungsabfindung Shangri-La Ufer Stenographie raffiniert zucken Sidekick singsong finster zur Größe up sth/sb flüchtiges skimpy Skirmish Durchhang Schiefer Schlitten/Schlitten schlank Steigung zur Steigung schlau eingebildet zum snicker zum Snigger schlurzen Nüchternheit feucht Anwalt somber beruhigen wund Badekurort Probestück spellbound Spinster herrlich Ausbreiten zum Sprößling spud Sporn squint squirm squishy Stange Ansturm standoffish Startling Statur stealthy steeple steuern geizig Bedingung Stout spreizen straightjacket zum Stray Streifen zum Thema Schwankung swat beeinflussen T tabloid zahm Tangente fühlbar tantalize langwierig reizen Schicksal reizen neigen Tender vorläufig Zeugnis thatched Durchgangsstraße Gewinde Thud zum Tiptoe Kröte hin und her Toddler Abgabe stürzen Trainingsanzug Ordnung Forelle U überall vorhanden uncanny uncharted Unterströmung underhand ausbreiten ungodly beispiellos entwirren äußerung V räumen zum vacillate veer Schleier Schauplatz vielseitig begabt versed Vicar umgekehrt Nähe Rebe vivacious voluptuous W zum wager zögern klein Unkraut weinen wetsuit zum whack Whitsun ausüben Perücke zum Windsb oben Esprit zurücktreten angeblich Y zu den Yak Ergebnis Z Eifer

Google Power

Who doesn't like Google?

There are plenty of things to play with here ...

For example... (and I'm quoting from the blog...)

...check out Google Translate.
It is an amazing tool that you can use to translate a piece of text or an entire
webpage. All you have to do is type in the URL (web address) into the box that
says "translate a web page:". Then you select what language the page is that you
would like to translate, and which language would like to read the page in.
Press the translate button and Google pops the page up all nice and formatted.
Congratulations you can now understand all most anyone in the world! For
instance, you can translate from Spanish to English, German to French, English
to Italian and Portuguese to English. Remember this works for pieces of text
too, so it could be useful in many other applications. For instance if you
wanted to learn how to say "hello" and "goodbye" in Italian or "where is the
bathroom" in French you can. So now every time you hit that next blog button and
something catches your eye, you can use Google to find out what exactly they are
really blogging about. You can also check out Google Languages to surf the net
for page written in certain langauges or even in certain countries!

or another great one for communication is Google Talk...

All you need is a microphone and you can talk to anyone you like for free and
anywhere in the entire world. ...

You can send files directly through Google Talk to the person that you are
chatting with. Google Talk also allows you to setup a profile with a pic and you
can even leave voice messages to someones e-mail! This service is also
integrated with G-mail so you can be notified when a new message is sent to your G-mail account. If you don't feel like talking you can also instant message just as easily.

Yes, like most things
Google it is completely free so you have nothing to lose. You can find out more
about Google Talk here.